Do you have cancer OR does Cancer have you?

What’s the difference? Identity. Self-identity and identifying what is happening to you. Are you a cancer patient? Or are you a person, an individual who has cancer? What word comes first in your mind; first in how you think about yourself? Why does it matter?

Research indicates that stress is an important factor in how well the immune system functions which in turn can impact cancer survival rate. While every case is unique, overall findings indicate it’s not simply a medical issue. There are psychological and social factors that complicate things for the group between 15 and 39 known as AYA – adolescent and young adults.

Identity is a psycho-social experience that can significantly interfere with the treatment process. You’ve probably heard the term identity crisis, mid-life crisis or adolescent identity crisis. However, regardless of age, a sudden, significant life change, can generate identity challenges, crises, or struggles in developing and maintaining an identity. A diagnosis of cancer is a huge change factor. It creates unique stress which can interfere with both the physical healing process by suppressing the immune system (Dhabar F.S; McLeod, S. A) The psychosocial stress can generate additional inhibiting factors toward healing. Emotions frequently experienced, such as anger, resentment and depression all too often lead to decreases in treatment compliance, and need to be addressed for better treatment and healing, as well as a better quality of life in the present.

The younger range, teens and early twenties are still forming an identity. Their internal worlds are already pretty chaotic. They have so many choices and decisions to make about their future, struggles trying to figure out what they what to do, who they want to be. But life or death really isn’t on their minds. Teens tend to be psychologically wired to feel invincible. It’s necessary to facilitate an appropriate amount of risk-taking to help learn their own limits. But the death of a young person is outside of what we understand as the natural, normal life-cycle. People are supposed to die when they get old. A teen’s identity focus shifting to life or death is not how things are supposed to be, not the natural way life proceeds. “How do I define, identify myself now? I used to be a teenager. A girl, young woman deciding what’s next, talking to my friends, trying to figure life, stuff, out. Now I see myself as someone else.” “I was a guy with plans, but now what?”

What about those in their mid-20s and 30s who have moved beyond that adolescent identity search? A formed identity is shaken, altered and confused by a cancer diagnosis; identity is inherently challenged.

If I have cancer, I can still be in control of my life. I may not be able to kill cancer, but I can make choices that keep my life alive in the here and now. I have choices. I decide how I will allow myself to be identified. It’s my identity so I can decide, not cancer.

If cancer has me, cancer gains complete control, control I’ve given it. I allow the anger and resentment at having cancer lead me into depression, apathy and non-compliance with treatment. I stop treating myself well because I identify myself as a lost cause. Life stops now. Even though I’m alive, I’ve stopped living.

I can use the energy anger generates to fuel my determination to fight for each and every day I have. I can begin to realize that no one ever knows how many days their life has; I can begin to more clearly understand and believe that life, my life, is truly worth living in spite of all the pain I have to face. I can develop an identity of a fighter, a survivor, someone who faces challenges rather than running from them. I can ask questions about how to get where I want to be. I can ask my family and friends to see me in a new way. I can ask them to identify me as someone who has cancer, not a cancer patient; a person with a challenge they can help me with if they understand, rather than feel sorry for me. I can learn that I’m still me. I can ask others to see me, not cancer.

I can find supportive groups of people fighting my same fight. I can find a faith community to help me with life or death questions; questions about the meaning of my life right now. Even if I wasn’t brought up in any religion or faith tradition, or reject the one I know. I can find one that will be helpful if I keep looking.

I can learn about how to be assertive and realize I really do matter – to myself and others. I can talk to people who are helpful and can limit contact with people who bring me down. I can seek counseling and other resources my treatment facility has available. I can find a lot of valuable resources and new friends online. I can fully participate in my own life. I can stop being simply an observer, a passenger, in my own life. In fact, I am going to check out some of the websites below right now.

References

Dhabhar, F.S. (2009) Enhancing versus suppressive effects of stress on immune function: implications and immunopathology. Neuroimmunomodulation. 16 (5): 300-317.

Emotional, Mental Health, and Mood Changes.

Cancer diagnosis: 11 tips for coping

McLeod, S.A. (2010). Stress, illness and the immune system. Simple Psychology.